Make my heart stir
Beckon me closer to Your truth

Let me feel Your presence
Center my love-struck spirit
I want to see only You

Make my heart stir
Cast my eyes on truth
Lord, take me to the place
Where I once found You

Bestow on me a thirst for the well of Living Water
Kindle in me a passion to exist for You still further

Make my heart stir
Beckon me closer to Your truth

Teach me to share the love I have felt
To walk in the footsteps of the Prince of Peace
Show me how to wash the feet of my brothers and sisters
Humble me so I may kneel down before the throne of my King of Kings

My heart is constantly moved to write about things which I am discontented by–which create an ache in my soul every time I think about them or every time I see them. Yet, rarely am I so convicted to sit down and write. Whether I am moved by my own emotions or the nudgings of the Holy Spirit, I can only imagine that God shares the same heart ache and the same frustrations about our culture that I do. This is my heart.

I know what it’s like to be a young American living in a world filled with mixed messages. I know the internal turmoil that can sometimes cause. We read our Bibles, pray and sit in churches on Sunday mornings and it’s our hearts desire to follow God with everything we’ve got. But we also live and breathe in a world that’s lost and yet thinks it knows where it’s going. We desire to live out God’s will for our lives and we know that He’s here with us, watching out for us and loving us. But the only thing we’ve ever experienced in the world is that of our culture. We can see our culture, feel our culture and hear our culture and we can so easily be influenced by it because of that. One of the areas our culture holds so much influence over us is love.

And what does our culture tell young, American, college students? The world tells us that, “we aren’t successful or fulfilled if we don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. There is something wrong with us if we are not in a relationship. Love is about us. Love is about the butterflies we get in our stomach when we see someone we’re attracted to. Love is an emotion and we need it. We should be seeking a relationship that brings us these feelings; that is built on a foundation of emotions. What it means to ‘like’ someone is to be infatuated with them. Love is an emotion and when it is gone, it is done.”

If we hold these messages of our culture to be true, how we define and handle relationships is effected. If love to us is simply an emotional quick fix to help fill a void in our beings, then we will dive into relationships out of our own self-need. Every time we try to take relationships into our own hands, creating them to fill an emotional void, we take away from God’s plans for us to be in a true love relationship with someone we will spend our whole lives with. Emotions shift and change with the seasons and when a relationship is built on them, it too will be unstable. When we try to force something, when we try to create something based on our culture and not on the foundation of God’s Word, we do a pretty poor job of it. Our version of love and romantic relationships is broken, lacking and not at all what God intended.

We have love for our friends and we have love for our family, right? We continue to love them even as our emotions change. Our love for our friends and family is not simply an emotion; it is real. Why do we think love within romantic relationships would be any different? Because our culture tells us so. We have been raised to so desire this that we sacrifice a true love relationship for a relationship built on a half-baked replacement for love. It’s not even love at all.

As a senior student at Southwestern college I have witnessed this first hand among my friends and fellow students. I remember when I was a resident assistant (RA) last year. One of the toughest things us RAs had to do was talk to fellow students about PDA. Even at a Christian school, PDA is rampant because students are so starved for relationships that they dive into them and build them simply off of emotions which, as a consequence, often leads to inappropriate physical interaction. Even though we know better, we Christians have an awful hard time protecting our hearts for the one special person we are actually going to marry.

I also remember my first year at Southwestern. It was the first time I’d ever lived on campus or been to a Christian school. Part of my heart was in the right place but the other part of my heart quickly got sidetracked. I was eighteen, barely out of the emotionally tumultuous times of high school, and I had developed the “love bug”. I simply could not wait to be at a college where there would be tons of really sweet, devoted Christian girls. It was a place, that I heard, was where many students found their soul mates and got married. In fact, there was (and is) nothing wrong with my desire to meet a good Christian girl to marry.

But I got side tracked because my innocent, God-given desires to meet a girl and fall in love were effected by all of the lies of our culture that I had bought into. I was in a rush–fearful that if I didn’t meet a girl soon at this college, I would never meet someone and be married. I was afraid every good girl being “taken”. I had anxiety issues because I was distinctly aware of my singleness. I felt that if I didn’t get right out there and try to get in a relationship, I would never even meet a girl that would come to know me and love me for who I am. My motives were selfish; I was looking for a relationship to fill an emotional hole. I hadn’t the slightest clue what love was or should be like within a relationship, other than that which I had learned in our culture.

We’ve completely lost sight of what love really is. Maybe if we didn’t use culture as our reference for what love looks like in relationship, we wouldn’t suffer so much heartache or fall into so much temptation. Maybe if we actually sought God’s Word on the issue to ground us, we would see everything from a different perspective.

“Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB)

Love is patient; it waits. Why don’t we wait for the one, God is going to bring to us? It’s tough to wait and to love someone we don’t even know yet. Why don’t we wait for true love to develop before diving into relationships? Society makes us so anxious. Why don’t we save the “boundary testing” physical interactions for our marriage? We show love for our spouses by living our lives faithfully for them even if we haven’t met them yet.

Love is kind and not self-serving. Love isn’t about us! Why are we getting into relationships that are all about us and how we feel? Culture tells us to be with that person we think is hot and who makes us feel good at that moment without regard to anything else. It’s all about what we get out of the relationship whereas true love is about living our lives for the other person.

Love never ends. It’s not some emotion that fills us with butterflies and then disappears. Love is not an emotional rollercoaster ride that flares up and then wanes. That’s just our emotions and nothing else. What if love really was like this? Love comes from God! How consistent or loving would our God be if He interacted with us based on emotions? We get so confused and think that emotions equals love. Does this mean that emotional feelings we get when we’re with our special someone is bad? Not at all! But you can’t build a foundation for your relationship on emotions. It needs to be built on love.

“(Now this is love: that we walk according to his commandments.) This is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning; thus you should walk in it.” (2nd John 1:6)

Love is walking according to the lifestyle that God wants us to live. If we put God’s Word to heart and lived that out through our romantic relationships that would be a powerful love. For us guys, that would be like loving our spouse just as Jesus loved the church. Love is a verb not a noun. It’s not something we collect but something we do and something that is done to us.

It breaks my heart to see people ignore Biblical teachings and get into unhealthy, shaky relationships that lead to sin and heart ache, especially when those people are good friends of mine. Yet, I also fully understand because the issue of romantic relationships is something I struggle with too. It’s so easy for us to get off track. We have to constantly re-center our lives, devoting our hearts to God and also to that special someone we know we will one day marry. Which, by the way, if you are worried about whether you will ever fall in love and get married or not, know this.

“And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28)

If you are reading all of this and you really want to one day be married, you can rest easy because God’s not going to let you go through life unmarried! It is better to be married than burn with passion, right? Marriage is something many of us need and God works for the good of the people who love Him. He has someone very special out there for you.

Again, it is so easy for us to get off track and to buy into these lies that our society tries to feed us. Something, I’ve learned is that we simply have a need for deep accountability in our lives.

“Brothers and sisters, if a person is discovered in some sin, you who are spiritual restore such a person in a spirit of gentleness. Pay close attention to yourselves, so that you are not tempted too. Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2)

In fact a lot of heart ache that I experienced in highschool and college could have been minimized and avoided had I had someone to keep me grounded and accountable in my life. A lot of times our perceptions and priorities get off track without us even realizing it. Without a friend to help us see what we miss, we often end up going down a rocky path of struggle.

My heart is just broken right now at seeing how we so easily get off track with love and I plead that you seek God’s Word in this area if this is a current struggle for you. I pray diligently that you take action and do something about it. This is my challenge for everyone who reads this. Get right with God. Get right with your future spouse. Reorient your heart and your life. Get your priorities straight. That’s only the beginning though. Even though we may get our priorities straight again, we so naturally slide out of that “right place”, especially when it comes to love. Get an accountability partner who is grounded, someone you trust, and someone who’s willing to confront you or give you the tough news when you need it. Don’t do this alone. Have someone by your side to talk with you weekly or even daily.

This is a poem I wrote to my future wife. I share this because I am holding myself accountable with you, the reader, and with several very close friends and family. It’s tough to wait for that person who you will truly love. Maybe it’s even tougher to wait for that person who will truly love you back. Yet, love is patient and God has an incredible plan for you and your spouse. My heart is hers and hers alone. Is yours?

I hope she loves me
And though I may try seven times
I’m still hoping for the one to love me

I hope she loves me for who I am
Not for someone I am not

There’s nothing special to see
I love God and I’m living for eternity
I want to love and protect

I have a heart to give and someone to love
Another soul made to be one

I hope she loves me
The way I want to love her genuinely

I don’t bring anything flashy
But all I have I will give to her

I want to spend my life with someone who wants to spend life with me
Every day I want to meet Christ with someone by my side

When I meet her I will be so blessed
My heart is already hers

Wait for that special someone that loves you for who you are, not simply for emotions that well up when you are together. The last line of this poem says, “my heart is already hers.” Don’t give your heart to anyone other than your spouse.

There is no more.

Because true love that has been shown to me is this. That a god–the God–sent His Son to be a sacrifice, a ransom for my life. This event is an act of love shown to me by God because He saw me worthy of His love even though I have done nothing worthy of recieving it. I am blessed and intended to be holy. I am powerful in the Spirit. Each day I have purpose–to love others because of the love I have recieved from God. Each night I sleep in peace having faith that everything God has told me in His Word is true. There is joy in the hard times because of all that is promised me. I have no burdens or guilt because Christ has lifted those off of me and made me clean. When I look in the mirror I see someone who God loves and who has a destiny; I was created for a purpose to make an impact and to change lives–just one of the billions of beautiful people created for love, destined for love, and purposed to share love.

When we moved in,
We painted hearts on the walls
And they seemed so pure, so innocent
In your eyes, I could see that I won
For a moment, I felt relief.

Forgive me, forgive me
Baby, if there’s one thing I told you
It’s that I love you, and that’s true

I know you have done
Some wrong things in your past
But this is a new beginningYou’re not the only one who has felt like this
It’s hard to grasp the idea of a new start
But it’s so trueYou know you should feel better
But it’s obvious you’re not
Because it’s coming down on those around you

Paul the Apostle said:

So impatient, so much waiting, how am I ever gonna make it?

I walk the cold streets, my feet ringing to my soul’s sad beat.

I can’t the tears from falling, I can’t keep my heart from stalling.

This is the end of all I know, I’m just exaggerating.

I can feel the world falling to pieces, but yet maybe there’s hope…. Nope.

Maybe there will be no dawn, just the darkness.

Maybe my light won’t shine, after all, it was never mine.

I pray for the hopeless and yet my prayers are never answered for myself.

Its a sad world I live in, but what about if I leave it?

Death is not the end but the beginning. So why do I go on living?

So many questions, so little answers. I just feel like falling into pieces.

I shatter on the rocky shores. I wasn’t never very strong.

I knew it wouldn’t be long before I fell apart.

I lost before the start. I guess I never had it in me.

Stop telling me I can do anything when my dreams are already broken.

Don’t preach to me, don’t quote any verses. Your just making me want to scream more curses.

I know what I know that I knew before. It didn’t help then either.

Where is help to be found? Where is my salvation?

Who am I to you? Why have you never said hi to me?

I’m just your closest friend, maybe even a relative.

I’m the brother sitting next to you, in the pew, and yet I’m dead inside.

I killed myself long ago. That’s just a corpse, the remnant of me.

Could you have saved me? I don’t know.

But at least you could have  tried.

Stop telling me sweet little lies, they’re not helping.

A gospel with no fear of hell is no gospel at all.

So now I join the legion of hopeless, the wonderful next generation.

Are you afraid of the future yet?

When you get this letter, it’ll be too late.

But its never too late to start for someone else.

Time.

Sometimes it feels like we simply don’t have enough. Yet, when we stop and think about it, it’s not really that we don’t have time–it’s simply that we often pack our schedules tight. There are twenty-four hours in a day and seven days in a week which totals to an incredible one-hundred-and-sixty-eight hours a week. That’s enough time to watch eighty-four, two-hour long movies! For Christians reading this, how are we using that time to further our relationship with God?

Prayer.

It is the medium of communication we use to interact with God. Christ created the bridge that allows us to communicate and be in relationship with God. God is the one who created us, loved us and sent His Son to cover for our mistakes and reestablish the broken relationship we had with Him. How could we not love Someone who has put this much effort into helping and seeking after us? When we think about it, God put His “best foot forward” when seeking relationship with us. He created us, enabling us to be in relationship with Him. Then when we turned away, He chased after us and sought to bring us to Him, finally culminating in the sacrifice of His Son. Yet, relationships are two-way streets and they don’t work if only one party is putting forth effort. It’s so easy to let our relationship with God slide on to the back burner; this is a challenge and a call to bring back the significance of having God in our lives. Prayer is perhaps the simplest and most effective way to seek after this relationship with God because it involves communication. Simply spending time in communication with God will draw us nearer to Him!

Love.

All relationships thrive on love. This is the outward action we show to demonstrate how much we care for one another. Here are the tough questions, though. If we are not spending much time in prayer with God, how often are we praying for those around us including our friends, family and loved ones? And if we are not driven to pray for them, how often are we even seeking to be present in their lives and in their struggles? One of the greatest ways we can show love to those around us  is by being present with and seeking to know what’s going on in their lives and then sending up our concerns and joys for them to God through prayer.

The Challenge.

Here’s the call. Spend a moment reflecting on your relationship with God and your friends and family. Have you been there? Have you actively been a part of those relationships? Have you been present with those people in your life? Prayer can have such a powerful impact on our lives and the lives of those we pray for. I believe that we can all spend time growing in our relationships with God and others no matter where we are at or what stage of life we are in.

Most of us have Facebook accounts and a fair group of friends, right? Here’s our challenge. Send messages to five of your friends on Facebook each week and ask them how they are doing and how you can pray for them that week. Then spend ten minutes each day in prayer with God at which time you can also conveniently pray for those five people you messaged. You could do this at night as your falling asleep, in the morning or even split up here and there throughout the day.

The Impact.

I started thinking about how much a few of us could really do. Here’s the math; if 150 of us prayed for five people each week for four weeks, we would be able to pray for 3,000 people.

Prayer and love impact lives and relationships. They impact us and they impact those around us. So take on the challenge! Be a part of the Pray for Love campaign. Spread the word but most importantly spend time with God and be a beacon of love for those around you!

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” – Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)

You can reach the group here.